so today has been awful.
i've been working my ass off all week & no one appreciates it here.
overtime better be huge.

and to top it all off, one of my coworkers came in here for my help and knocked over my entire sweet tea. where did it go? on all of these invitations i have been working on, along with my desk calendar... oh and don't forget into mu purse which was perfectly positioned for the water fall on the floor.

i started crying earlier... pathetic.

i'm not cut out for this. i feel so boxed in. i'm not inspired or motivated to change anything (the reasons i was hired) because everyone here is scared of change. the sorority trusted my oppinion and taste so much (for the most part) & these people won't even give me a chance to prove myself. it's just so frustrating.

probably doesn't help that i started my period today all over the place. go figure.

ryan is playing at aoii philanthropy event, which for the time being i am dubbing:
dyke out arthritis. ryan is so good live. he's got the best voice.

i'm in love. very much in love. in case you were curious ryan and i have been bff for like a year & then suddenly i realized i was in love with him... he's felt that way for a while come to find out. anyways, this is it for me. i would think that would be scary to admit, but it's not at all. we're very much the same but also not at all. he's super emo aka perfecto. we like the same things but our characteristics are diff. he's an overanalyzer and i am very impulsive. stuff like that... those differences that you can appreciate and also appreciate the similarities like music, art, etc.

i've never felt more truer to myself than right now.
wish i could feel that as far as my job goes.
i'll write tomorrow when i am in a good mood and i am sure something funny has happened.

XOXO